Wedding Dash
The wedding alter
Courtesy of Wikimedia
“These two have been in love for many days here in Krishna’s kingdom. They began their relationship under his approval and it has bloomed. Their love is not only for each other but has touched all of our lives. Therefore I ask, does anyone have any reason why this couple should not be married?”
The two lovebirds stared in each other's eyes.
Love at Sunset
Courtesy of Pixabay
Suddenly there was a throat cleared at the back of the party. A woman, who too much resembled a human sized serpent, rose from her chair slowly.
“I do.”
Arjuna’s head swivels sharply at the sound of the voice. His face falls like the kings of Babylon.
The woman slowly flowed flowed forward down the aisles toward the site of matrimony. “I am Uloopi of the Naga people. This man,” she raises a bony finger pointed at the groom, “has already been married. To ME!”
“I do.”
Arjuna’s head swivels sharply at the sound of the voice. His face falls like the kings of Babylon.
The woman slowly flowed flowed forward down the aisles toward the site of matrimony. “I am Uloopi of the Naga people. This man,” she raises a bony finger pointed at the groom, “has already been married. To ME!”
Uloopi, Serpent Woman
Courtesy of Pixabay
A gasp elicits out of the crowd. Arjuna’s face grows crimson with rage. “Sit down woman. I only married you because of your threat!”
Subhadra looks shocked at this new revelation. “Arjuna, you are married?”
Arjuna turns to her placatingly, “Sweetheart, she said she would entrap me for all time if I did not. My heart never belonged to her.”
“But our son, Iravan!” cried Uloopi, “Surely he means something to you!” A small boy looks longingly up at Arjuna, pleading in his eyes.
“He is a lovely boy, but he understands that one must follow his heart. Now sit down!” Uloopi stands stock still in shock. The boy buries his face in Uloopi’s dress. Arjuna turns to the priest and smiles his widest smile. “Please continue.”
“Wait! I object!”
Arjuna sighs exasperatedly he looks out over the crowd and sees Draupadi rise in the crowd. “Woman! What are you doing here. Surely you aren’t done with your 3 years with my brothers!”
Subhadra looks shocked at this new revelation. “Arjuna, you are married?”
Arjuna turns to her placatingly, “Sweetheart, she said she would entrap me for all time if I did not. My heart never belonged to her.”
“But our son, Iravan!” cried Uloopi, “Surely he means something to you!” A small boy looks longingly up at Arjuna, pleading in his eyes.
“He is a lovely boy, but he understands that one must follow his heart. Now sit down!” Uloopi stands stock still in shock. The boy buries his face in Uloopi’s dress. Arjuna turns to the priest and smiles his widest smile. “Please continue.”
“Wait! I object!”
Arjuna sighs exasperatedly he looks out over the crowd and sees Draupadi rise in the crowd. “Woman! What are you doing here. Surely you aren’t done with your 3 years with my brothers!”
Relief of Draupadi
Courtesy of Flickr
“How dare you! I married you first.”
“And I get one year out of five for marital bliss? That isn’t fair! Go back to Bhima and lay with him!” Draupadi is shocked silent and wraps her arms around the shaking Uloopi. Arjuna turns to the officiant once again. He smiles as wide as possible, teeth gritting. “Please, let’s get this wrapped up...!”
“Wait. How do I know you will be faithful to me if you have already had two wives?” Subhadra is studying his face. “How will I know I won’t also be abandoned?”
Arjuna’s words drip like honey nectar, “Sweetheart, I only have eyes for you. Yes I have a past, doesn’t any man of worth? But that is over. I only want to be with you.”
Subhadra melts at his tone, she reaches down and rubs her expanding belly. “That’s good to know, because we have an addition coming!” She beams.
The crowd sighs happily.
Arjuna looks left and right like a wild animal caged in a fence. He begins backing up swiftly from the alter. He almost trips but catches himself as he goes. “Wow. You know what? Look at the time. I just remembered I have this thing I have to--” With that Arjuna turns and dashes from the proceedings.
“And I get one year out of five for marital bliss? That isn’t fair! Go back to Bhima and lay with him!” Draupadi is shocked silent and wraps her arms around the shaking Uloopi. Arjuna turns to the officiant once again. He smiles as wide as possible, teeth gritting. “Please, let’s get this wrapped up...!”
“Wait. How do I know you will be faithful to me if you have already had two wives?” Subhadra is studying his face. “How will I know I won’t also be abandoned?”
Arjuna’s words drip like honey nectar, “Sweetheart, I only have eyes for you. Yes I have a past, doesn’t any man of worth? But that is over. I only want to be with you.”
Subhadra melts at his tone, she reaches down and rubs her expanding belly. “That’s good to know, because we have an addition coming!” She beams.
The crowd sighs happily.
Arjuna looks left and right like a wild animal caged in a fence. He begins backing up swiftly from the alter. He almost trips but catches himself as he goes. “Wow. You know what? Look at the time. I just remembered I have this thing I have to--” With that Arjuna turns and dashes from the proceedings.
Groom fleeing the scene
Courtesy of Flickr
Subhadra turns scarlet red and yells at the audience, “Get him!” The crowd in a roar of fury rushes after the unfaithful lover.
Epified: Mahabharata videos Part A and B 2016
Author's Note: I watched the Epified videos with this section of class. In them they go into more detail about Arjuna's history with weddings. What became clear to me is the many times that Arjuna wed someone, had a baby with them, and then just went on his marry way leaving the women to fend for the children. This may be the product of the culture, and I can see how these type of chauvinistic tales could be embedded in the culture. One simply has to look at the rape culture that exists in India today to see that. So I began to think what would happen if Arjuna was confronted on his wedding day by all of the women he had previously married. Thus came this story. I actually see it more of a farce than anything so it was fun to write.
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