Walk On The Ocean Week 12 Storytelling

And Lo! For the lord, our God, had heard of the death of the one beloved by him, John the Baptist, whom hath baptized our lord while he hath been just a babe in swaddling cloths. Our God wished to be alone to pray and meditate on his miracle. And Lo, our Lord and Savior bid farewell to his disciples as they set off across the Sea to Galilee.

And Lo, behold the Sphinx observed the Lord, Our God, as he traversed the sand. Jesus hath no attempt made to conceal his footprints that appeared in the sand. The Sphinx delighted in remembrance of the tricks he hath wrought before.

The Spinx watching Jesus

Courtesy of Flickr

But he of jealous intent doth behold our Lord Jesus as he turned toward his friends who sailed off in the distance. For then, the lord realized he had left his miracle watch in the boat with them and must go to it. Without this divine instrument our God would not know when the next miracle hath been scheduled. Thus the Lord sayeth a quick prayer and stepped onto the water.


And Lo, it doth hold his weight! The Lord walketh on water without sinking into it! A jealous knot grew in the belly of the sphinx as he determined he must know how Jesus achieves this trick. Thus the great Sphinx lifted his wings and flew out in front of our lord.

Jesus walking on water

Couretesy Pixabay

And Jesus wept. For he thought he had been done with this foul creature.

“Why doest thou fly in my way?”

The Sphinx smiled thus plainly. “I would know the nature of your ability to walk on water.”

“Get the behind me, Satan,” cried Jesus impatiently, “I am on God’s errand!”

“Dear Savior, thou credit me too much. Satan I be-eth not. Too much work. I am simply a lowly Sphinx who wishes to walk on water as well.”

“Thou art an evil of temptation. I should smite the now and be done with ye,” grumbled Jesus.

“Oh now, good Savior, that wouldn’t be saving anything,” grinned the Sphinx

“It would be saving me from having to talketh with thou,” retorted Jesus.

“I simply wish to know, how thouest come to not sink in the waves.”

“Thou may ask how one breathes, how one thinks, or how one sleeps. The answer lies in the question.”

The Sphinx then was tickled at this reversal. “Now, Jesus, my lord, becometh the riddler.”

Jesus thus then waved the creature a dismissive wave. “Be gone creature.”

And Lo, the Sphinx did turneth to see the ship far out to Sea. “Thy ship is getting further away, best to tell me how you are performing this miracle thus leaving thou to thy journey.”

And Lo! Jesus was exasperated with this creature. “Fine, I walketh on stepping stones. Behold, there, just under the waves. I simply see them and walk.”

And Lo! The sphinx gazed upon the water and saw the dark outlines under the waves and knew the source of the miracle.

“Ha! I see how thou performest a miracle without magic!”

“Now let me be, thou mangy quarter feline, I must get my miracle watch!”

“Farewell, good Jesus, I shall also walk on water.”

And with that, the great beast of man, lion, and feathered bird alighted on the water but found no solid footing. The dark place hath been simply a fish under the waves. The beast thus tumbled in.

And Lo! The beast did not know how to swim. Hence our Lord, Jesus, watched the simple being flounder in the water with the smallest smile of satisfaction.

“Thou hast tricked me, thy quick witted Savior! There be-eth no stepping stones here.”

“No, beast of temptation and spite! I walketh on water because I am the Son of God and the Servant of Humanity. I walketh on water because I be-eth divine. Thou be-eth not divine and thy poisoned soul will pull you under the waves!”

And the Truth was spoken as the beast floundered in the sea his body hath sunken under the waves and he sputtered out a cry for help.

“Great savior, please forgive my foolish ways. Please help me in my time of need and let me feathers once more touch the sky.”

And our Lord God reflected on these words and a pained expression greweth on his face. Our lord contemplated on what the price of being good was.

“Please doeth not forsaken me, my Lord!” And with that the great Sphinx’s head did not appear above water again.

Jesus heping hand

Courtesy of Youtube

And our Lord Jesus, taking pity on the soul of his tempter, reached out a hand and pulled the great beast from the waves. He thrusteth him skyward and the great Sphinx quickly shooketh the water from his feathers and alighted into the sun.

"Great lord of humanity, I thank thee for your grace.”

“Remember my charity to thee and provide that charity to others. Cease thou immoral jokes and praise the works of the righteous.”

“So shall I do my Savior, till my last breath.” With that the great beast flew off shining his feathers in the sun.

And the lord god, looked back at the boat that had been caught in a storm, and saw then the fact that the fool, Peter, had attempted to walk on water to bring the miracle watch back and was sinking himself. Jesus sighed and began to run to help his poor simple profit.

Walk on the Ocean

Toad the wet Sprocket

Courtesy of Youtube

Authors Note:  This story was inspired by the parable The Crow That Thought He Knew.  It is about a crow who is learning the art of fishing from a master crow fisher.  However he began to think he knew better than the master and tried to fish himself and ended up dying in the water.  

I thought that the previous story was fun and decided to continue it with this story.  The previous story employed the same two character and is on this blog at The Lost Versus.  I wanted to continue this story because it brought a laugh to a couple people and it was fun to write.  

The Crow That Thought He Knew from Eastern Stories and Legends by Marie L. Shedlock

News at Ten: Week 11 Storytelling

Begin News Transcript

Bert:

Tonight we bring you a story that will warm your heart and your soul.  And who do we have to thank? Why our illustrious and wise king of course.  Here's Tamera O'Keefe with the latest.

Tamara:

Thanks Bert.  I standing here at the royal palace where the reunion of a lifetime is about to commence.  Here at the animal sanctuary which is provided by King Bramha-datta lives a beautiful elephant named Bubbles.  She is the pride of the king's elephant guard. 

Judas:

I didn't know what I had done.  All of the sudden she wouldn't eat.  She wouldn't sleep.

Tamara:

You see, Bubbles, had made a friend.  A friend that she would go to the ends of the world for.

Judas:

The peasant came and offered me some cash for the Bella.  How was I supposed to know it would affect Bubbles so badly.

King Bramha-datta:

I was livid I tell you.  Livid.  It was obvious to anyone who cared to look that Bubbles and Bella were inseparable friends.  It was ridiculous that elephant keeper sold him.  

Tamara:

That's right folks.  You heard it here first.  The kings favorite elephant had befriended man's best friend!  And when Bella was no longer around Bubbles grew listless.

King Bramha-datta:

I was really worried about Bubbles.  She was losing weight rapidly.  I was afraid she was going to die.  I launched a search party for Bella as soon as I heard she had been sold.

Peasant:

I can tell ya.  That King guy we have.  Sure is generous.

(clinking of gold coins heard in a bag)

Best thing I ever did buying that dog off of Judas.  

(sounds of Peasant being robbed of his 

gold coins is heard in the background)

Tamara:

One man's good fortune was another's pain.

Bubbles:

She was my only friend in the whole world.  At first she just ate whatever was left over.  You know that I dropped.

Bella:

I liked to call myself her apron.  She was always such a messy eater.

Bubbles:

But Bella grew on me you know?  And what do you do when that is taken away.  I mean I lost my family when I was young to ivory poachers.  They came and killed everyone.  That's when King Brahma-datta took pitty on me and took me in.  But finally having someone to call family and then...she was just gone.

King Brahma-datta:

That's why I fired him.  I should have had him whipped.  It's inexcusable that he separated those two.  Besides everyone on this land is mine, not his.  He sold what was mine.

Judas:

Yeah I got canned.  It wasn't nice either.  I had to clean out all the manure from all of the stables first. It was sick work  

(Pause)

But I'm glad they are back together.  I deserved it.  

Tamara:

Now we are about to see the two reunited after such a scary ordeal for the first time.  King Brahma-datta has made sure that no one would interfere with their reunion.  We are truly blessed to have such a wise king.  We now go to Draupadi for the play by play reunion:

Bella and Bubbles play fetch

Courtesy of Youtube

Authors Note: This story is based off of the story of "Faithful Friends" from Eastern Stories and Legends by Marie L. Shedlock.  In it an elephants best friend is sold to a peasant.  When the king finds this out he asks the Buddha what he should do.  The Buddha says to announce there will be a fine for any person found keeping the dog.  When the person who bought the animal heard this he released the dog and it rushed back to the elephant.

In my version I took it from the perspective of a news transcript of coverage of the reuniting.  I used real footage from a news crew about an elephant and a dog being best friends.  In my story the King pays a finders fee to the peasant but the peasant ends up losing it to thieves for comic relief.  

A Woman Scorned: Storytelling: Week 9

The door crashed open and Parvati stormed into the kitchen, daggers flying out of her eyes. “You! How could you!”

Shiva with Ganga spouting from Topknot

Courtesy of YouTube

Shiva quickly grabbed a bowl from the table and dumped the contents on the floor. He thrust the bowl on top of his head upside down. “Whatever do you mean, my love?” Water began to pour from the rim of the bowl all around his face obscuring the view of his wild Goddess.

“Don’t give me that! You know what you did. I mean sure, you're supposed to observe, but this?!”

Realizing the absurdity, and frankly the danger, of not having a clear visual of the raging Goddess, Shiva maneuvered the bowl so that his face was not covered. Soon his elbow was on the table holding the bowl tilted halfway back on his head . A waterfall sprayed down on the floor of the kitchen. “I’m sure I don’t know what you are talking about, dear. Would you be so kind as to make breakfast? I’m so hungry. Keeping my eyes open all the time is a real pain.” Shiva wipes his face and fakes a large yawn as water cascades behind him.

“Oh! So we are going to play it like that are we?” Parvati looked at him incredulously. “Really.” Shiva looked as uncomfortable as a baptist in any place called Tito’s Titti Twister Town. Parvati walks over to the stove and slams a pan onto the metal surface. Shiva winces. “So, my husband, why, may I ask, are you flooding my floor? Is this a new thing?”

Shiva shrugged absently, “Yes, something new that just started flowing today. It gives life to all others.” Shiva pointed down the river that escaped his head to the people rejoicing in the water downstream. Parvati looks down, sees the revelers, frowns and slams a box on the counter.

“So my kitchen has to be flooded for others to live. You realize the mess you are making!”

“I can go into the living room if you like.” Shiva begins to rise out of his chair.

Parvati rushes up behind him and pushes firmly down on his shoulders until his rear lands with a thump. “Oh no husband, please stay…” Parvati’s sickly sweet voice froze Shiva in his seat. Her fingers were leaving indentations in his shoulders. “And how long is this new life giving gift going to last?”

“Well, you see, that’s hard to say. If it doesn’t stay everything will die.”

“Oh just stop!” Parvati rips the bowl out of Shiva’s hands and Ganga’s stream spews forth. Parvati slams the bowl down on the floor where it shatters in a thousand little shards. “How dare you bring another woman home!”

Shiva stands slowly but firmly, “Woman! Get ahold of yourself--” The dismay that registered on Shiva’s face lasted a full second before Parvati had picked him up and crashed him against the floor. With the majesty of the Goddess that she was she placed one foot, and then the other firmly on his chest.

“Don’t you dare take that tone with me, you cheater!”

Shiva’s breath came shallowly due to the pressure that was being exerted on his chest. “Wife, please. I’m sorry!”

Parvati (Called Kali in this Incarnation) dancing on Shiva

Courtesy of Wikipedia

Parvati’s rage melted slightly. She stepped off of Shiva’s chest slowly, the wildness in her eyes receded slightly. “Why did you bring her home?”

Shiva rubbed the spot where she had so recently danced on his body. He sat up slowly, water spouting out of his topknot. Parvati happened to be in the line of fire and Ganga soaked her through. The surprise of it shocked her through to the core. Quivering lips gave way to trembling eyes. A flood of tears began to pour from the Goddess’s eyes. She sank down into the kitchen chair and put her hands over her eyes to hide the torrent.

Shiva came up behind her slowly, carefully, “Wife...  Please...  Know my only love is for you.”

“Then, then why...Why is she here?”

“If I hadn’t trapped her she would have destroyed the world. I had to net her in my hair as to save all of creation.”

Parvati slowed the display of her grief. She looked up slowly with hopeful eyes. “Oh, she was going to destroy everything?”

“Yes dear, everything we had built together. I couldn’t allow that. I care too much for what we have done.” Shiva wraps his arms around Parvati tightly. She melts into his embrace.

“But I can’t stand it husband. She is able to be closer to you than I. I am your wife. I am the observed. Yet she gets to be next to your head at all times?”

Shiva leaned his forehead in till it was touching hers. There eyes were a breath apart. He was careful not to point Ganga at her again. “I understand your concern, my love. How about this, what if we merge ourselves? You will be my right half and I will be the left half. That way no one can be closer to me than you.”

Parvati’s eyes alighted with the proposition. “Oh, really? You would do that for me?”

Shiva smiled and squeezed her hand, “For you my love, I would destroy anything!”

“You are not just saying that?” Parvati said hopefully.

“Have I ever lied to you?”

Parvati looked puzzled as she contemplated this. “Well, I only remember since you last opened your eyes...”

“Have I lied to you today, then?”

Parvati smiled. “No my husband. You haven’t!”

Shiva wrapped her in his arms and Parvati returned the embrace. A white light outlined them as the two melded into one being. Soon Parvati was the right side and Shiva was the left. “There, now we are closer than anyone will ever be.

Shiva and Parvati Combined

Courtesy of Wikipedia

Parvati beamed happiness, “You are the most giving husband! I love you!”

Shiva smiled, thankful he had averted any real danger, and in truth, he would at least never get stepped on again. “I love you to my faithful wife.”



Author's Note: This story was created from the story about how Parvati was angry when she learned that Ganga was in Shiva’s hair and was closer to Shiva then she was. She felt like she should be the one closer to her husband and would not abide having one between them. Thus in order to rectify the problem Shiva suggests that they merge together so that no one could be closer to him than she was. Thus was born the God and Goddess being one representation. 

 I put in a couple little Easter eggs such as the part where Parvati steps up on Shiva’s chest. This is originally when she danced on him to keep his eyes open to observe. I also mention the job of Shiva as observer and Parvati as the one to be observed. Also the fact that Shiva is the Destroyer, I had him state he would destroy anything for his wife, and thus that was an endearance to her. I put in the part where every time Shiva opens his eyes everything starts again, I thought that was a funny part that even the Goddess won’t remember the previous incarnation of the world.

7 Secrets from Hindu Calendar Art : Shiva's Secret    

Epified Videos   

Devdutt Pattanaik

Eastern Stories and Legends: Week 12 Reading Diary D

The Crow That Thought It Knew

The Crow tried to fish but was not born to go beneath the waves like his master and thus drowned. This is pride before the fall. Could easily be rewritten multiple ways. One thing might be interesting to revisit Jesus and the Sphinx, bring them back and the sphinx tries to walk on water?

The Judas Tree

Judas Tree

Courtesy of Geography

Sons of the king want to see Judas tree but only judge it off what each one sees. This is a great story about judging a book by it’s cover and not seeing the whole truth of the matter. Interesting to develop this more into a story, could have different famous people meeting to discuss a colleague, could be fun.

The River Fish And The Money

Interesting story, the guy has his money dropped over the side of the boat and the spirit of Ganges brought it back to him in a roundabout way. I could see this occurring with Odysseus or something like that. Placing it in a different time. Or perhaps in Egypt? Ooo Mayan culture…

Goddess Ganges

Courtesy of Wikipedia

The Dreamer In The Wood

Sakka testing Buddha. Buddha was living on a hillside eating the bark of the tree when there isn’t leaves or flowers. Sakka offers him boon, Buddha asks for no animal to be harmed for his being. Not really much I see to do with this scene.

The Rice Measure

King didn’t like that everything was valued so high so he fired his valuer and hired a fool. Fool gave value of 500 horses as a measure of rice. Horse trader bribed him to value a measure of rice as the whole city state. King fired valuer. Interesting story about a person trying to cheat the system getting cheated himself..

The Poisonous Tree

A village grows a poisonous tree that usually kills everyone so they can take all their wares. This would be a great story to expound upon. A traffic stop gone wrong type situation. Maybe drugs or arms? But in reality it is FBI or CIA in the car?

Mango Tree

Courtesy of Wikimedia

The Well Trained Elephant

Elephant is Buddha and is able to fly around. The king of one area got angry that the elephant was more revered than he was. Tried to get the elephant to fall of the cliff, elephant flew to new kingdom and became a prized asset. Good story about the worth of and respecting others.

The Wise Physician

A woman brought a dead child to the Buddha, he sent her for mustard seed and to find one house that hadn’t lost anyone to death. She was unable to find a house untouched by death and thus learned that everyone has to deal with it. Good story about how to recognize a truth and deal with the grief.

Eastern Stories and Legends by Marie L. Shedlock

Eastern Stories and Legends: Week 12 Reading Diary C

The Hawk and the Osprey

This is a cool story about how each friend helps the two hawks protect their young from some men that would eat them. There are 4 friends total. This is easily converted into a buddy story where someone is trying to accomplish something and each friend is needed to contribute something to make it happen.

Grandmother’s Golden Dish

Golden Dish

Mildenhall Treasure

Courtesy of Wikipedia

This story seems to set up an ongoing feud between Devadatta and Bodisat. In this one they are both merchants. Devadatta tried to swindle a woman out of a golden dish. In the interim though Bodisat came and paid everything he had for the dish then left. Devadatta came back to offer a small payment for the dish and found he had been outmaneuvered and died of a heart attack. This could easily be redone now and days as a double cross thriller script. Change the dish to a cache of arms or corporate espionage…

The Elephant That Spared Life

The sheriff slanders the good people to the king. King orders them to be trampled by elephants, elephants won’t trample them. King hears that they are good people gives them all the sheriffs lands and makes him their slave. Good use of just desserts type justice here. Could easily change this to a story with the Charlotte's Web characters. Make Wilbur be the Bodisat and have the farmer be intent on killing him. Actually this is kinda the Web story already huh?

How The Antelope Was Caught

The antelope is made addicted to honey then lead inside the palace to where he is in danger. He doesn’t realize it until too late. So easily can be made into a drug deal story. I so see this being a drug dealer getting someone hooked on heroin or something.

Drug Addict

Courtesy of Flickr

The Banyan Deer

The King of deer was willing to sacrifice himself to save a doe that was with child. This is a pretty plain and straightforward story.

The Pupil Who Taught His Teacher

A brahmin said young in his family didn’t die because they were righteous.

The Teacher

Courtesy of Wizzler's Place

The Man Who Told A Lie

The guy lied about his merits and the garlands that were bestowed on him caused him pain. I feel like this was too easily resolved and the flowers should have been the end of him. Could expand this story and change it thus, I would think they would start choking the lies out of him.



Eastern Stories and Legends by Marie L. Shedlock

Eastern Stories and Legends: Week 11 Reading Diary B

The Bull That Demanded Fair Treatment

Bodisat incarnate as a bull and convinced his master to bet money he could pull 100 laden carts. When the master called him a wretch though on the bet he wouldn’t move. Interesting story about showing respect to people in order to get what you want out of life. This might be an interesting story laid out in a leather bar….

WallStreet Bull

Courtesy of Flickr

The Bull That Proved His Gratitude

Again as a bull he is with an older woman who treats him well but she works to the bone. He gets a job hauling carts across a ford and gets her 1000 gold pieces, they grow old and die happy together. I don’t really see how I could better this one other than maybe making the old woman have to go to therapy for the anxiety?

The Horse That Held Out To The End

Buddha as a horse who was pampered. King was attacked and king had a knight to go battle each of the 7 kings. Knight said give me the horse, King did and even after getting injured the horse kept going till all 7 were captured. Then he begged for charity and passed away. A good story about having humility in victory. This could be seen in a sports game, possibly a basketball game, football something.

The Monkey That Saved The Herd

Buddha as monkey king. This story has a water ogre and they end up drinking the water through cleverness by using straws. They outsmarted the ogre because they didn’t have to touch the water themselves. Would be fun to have a mythological creature story again. Ooooo, retell it with loch ness?

Loch Ness Monster: Nessy

Courtesy of Wikimedia

The Mallard That Asked For Too Much

Buddha was born as a mallard with golden wings and went back to his former wife and daughter to give them golden wings. Wife got greedy and tried to pluck all the feathers, which right then turned to crane feathers, pure white.

The Merchant Who Overcame All Obstacles

The wagons got turned around in the desert after they had all thrown away their water. They found water under a rock. It’s working to resolve problems, but it would be tricky to redo this. Might be an opportunity to use the story type generator and try to do something different…

The Elephant That Was Honored In Old Age

I don’t really understand this story. Elephant was loyal subject and then put out to pasture, then was made to be yoked and worked which she asked to not be insulted and the Buddha chastised the king. I don’t see a moral out of this. Maybe we should respect our elders?

The Fateful Friend

Elephant with Dog, Spanish Floor Tiles

Courtesy of Wikipedia

And elephant and a dog are great friends, they are separated, elephant refuses food, then king gets dog back and happy. This would be kinda fun to write as a reporter reporting the return of the dog. Maybe there is a rally etc. He could interview the Buddha, king, elephant and dog.

Eastern Stories and Legends by Marie L. Shedlock 1920

Eastern Stories and Legends: Week 11 Reading Diary A

The Hare That Ran Away:

This was an interesting story in the vein of Chicken Little. It also talks about how rumor is repeated to make it fact. Good example of the telephone type thing in elementary school. This happens way too often in the world. Actually it might be kinda fun to put this story in an elementary school doing the telephone game as a story.

Arctic Hare

Courtesy of Wikipedia

The Monkey And The Crocodile:

“By Hook or by crook.” I wonder if this is actually where this saying originates from?

I remember this type of story too, however it was a turtle or something that had the person on their back. Anyway this is a good story about trusting the wrong people and being deceived but then deceiving that person to get out of the predicament.

The Spirit That Lived In A Tree:

I like this story. It is about the noble sacrifice and in offering to be killed slowly to save the younger trees the tree spirit is given a reprieve by the king. I definitely see the possibility of the children talking with the trees to help them.

Tree Spirit

Courtesy of Wikipedia

The Hare That Was Not Afraid To Die:

This story is a little weird. It has a jackal, monkey and otter in it but they seem to not really be a part of the story. The hare is Buddha and he offers up his own flesh for the god who came down to eat. So this is about giving the ultimate sacrifice for the benefit of another, even one who you don’t know. Not really sure how I could redo this one though. Maybe be interesting to tie this to Jesus?

The Parrot That Fed His Parents:

The Buddha incarnated as a parrot and got captured then convinced the brahmin he was righteous because he gives charity, and is feeding his children and parents. This could definitely be a story told in medieval England or such. A parent having to steal bread to feed the family.

The Man Who Worked To Give Alms

This is very similar to the story of Job. Wow these intertwined with Christianity a lot. Anyway, the Buddha is a merchant that wants to give alms. Sakka, the god, wants to test him so he takes away all of his wealth, and the merchant still tries to give alms. Sakka finds he is in it for the spiritual knowledge you gain and gives him back his wealth. This could definitely have been a longer, more intense trial.

The King Who Saw The Truth

Buddha incarnate King wants to just give everything including his own body parts, just to give. He feels joy from that. Sakka again tests him and King cuts out his eyes and gives them to Sakka. Sakka grants him vision of absolute truth. In giving something you receive even more back. Very interesting how these play into the whole karma setup.  Yama keeping the ledger and all.

Absolute Truth

Courtesy of Flickr

Eastern Stories and Legends by Marie L. Shedlock

Wedding Dash: Storytelling Week 7

Wedding Dash

The wedding alter

Courtesy of Wikimedia

Doves fly into the sky setting the serenity of the evening setting sun. The sun paints the backdrop of gold around the white wreaths of the alter. Several people in the wedding party let out an audible ahhh at the beauty. Arjuna and Subhadra stand facing each other. They looked like the only couple who could love so deeply. The priest stood behind them with a smile. Several people in the wedding party dabbed at tears that flowed from wet eyes.

“These two have been in love for many days here in Krishna’s kingdom. They began their relationship under his approval and it has bloomed. Their love is not only for each other but has touched all of our lives. Therefore I ask, does anyone have any reason why this couple should not be married?”

The two lovebirds stared in each other's eyes.

Love at Sunset

Courtesy of Pixabay

Suddenly there was a throat cleared at the back of the party. A woman, who too much resembled a human sized serpent, rose from her chair slowly.

“I do.”

Arjuna’s head swivels sharply at the sound of the voice. His face falls like the kings of Babylon.

The woman slowly flowed flowed forward down the aisles toward the site of matrimony. “I am Uloopi of the Naga people. This man,” she raises a bony finger pointed at the groom, “has already been married. To ME!”

Uloopi, Serpent Woman

Courtesy of Pixabay

A gasp elicits out of the crowd. Arjuna’s face grows crimson with rage. “Sit down woman. I only married you because of your threat!”

Subhadra looks shocked at this new revelation. “Arjuna, you are married?”

Arjuna turns to her placatingly, “Sweetheart, she said she would entrap me for all time if I did not. My heart never belonged to her.”

“But our son, Iravan!” cried Uloopi, “Surely he means something to you!” A small boy looks longingly up at Arjuna, pleading in his eyes.

“He is a lovely boy, but he understands that one must follow his heart. Now sit down!” Uloopi stands stock still in shock. The boy buries his face in Uloopi’s dress. Arjuna turns to the priest and smiles his widest smile. “Please continue.”

“Wait! I object!”

Arjuna sighs exasperatedly he looks out over the crowd and sees Draupadi rise in the crowd. “Woman! What are you doing here. Surely you aren’t done with your 3 years with my brothers!”

Relief of Draupadi

Courtesy of Flickr

“How dare you! I married you first.”

“And I get one year out of five for marital bliss? That isn’t fair! Go back to Bhima and lay with him!” Draupadi is shocked silent and wraps her arms around the shaking Uloopi. Arjuna turns to the officiant once again. He smiles as wide as possible, teeth gritting. “Please, let’s get this wrapped up...!”

“Wait. How do I know you will be faithful to me if you have already had two wives?” Subhadra is studying his face. “How will I know I won’t also be abandoned?”

Arjuna’s words drip like honey nectar, “Sweetheart, I only have eyes for you. Yes I have a past, doesn’t any man of worth? But that is over. I only want to be with you.”

Subhadra melts at his tone, she reaches down and rubs her expanding belly. “That’s good to know, because we have an addition coming!” She beams.

The crowd sighs happily.

Arjuna looks left and right like a wild animal caged in a fence. He begins backing up swiftly from the alter. He almost trips but catches himself as he goes. “Wow. You know what? Look at the time. I just remembered I have this thing I have to--” With that Arjuna turns and dashes from the proceedings.

Groom fleeing the scene

Courtesy of Flickr

Subhadra turns scarlet red and yells at the audience, “Get him!” The crowd in a roar of fury rushes after the unfaithful lover.

Epified: Mahabharata videos Part A and B 2016

Author's Note: I watched the Epified videos with this section of class.  In them they go into more detail about Arjuna's history with weddings.  What became clear to me is the many times that Arjuna wed someone, had a baby with them, and then just went on his marry way leaving the women to fend for the children.  This may be the product of the culture, and I can see how these type of chauvinistic tales could be embedded in the culture.  One simply has to look at the rape culture that exists in India today to see that.  So I began to think what would happen if Arjuna was confronted on his wedding day by all of the women he had previously married.  Thus came this story.  I actually see it more of a farce than anything so it was fun to write.

The Lost Verses : Week 6 Storytelling

And lo, Jesus was filled with the Spirit. He thus traveled to Galilee and shared the joy the Spirit.

Upon reaching the gates of Galilee, Jesus came upon the creature.

For it had two wings, the body of a lion and the head of man. It was the Sphinx of lore. The creature sat perched over the fountain of water. Thus the creature spake: “I am called “Purushamriga” and I welcome thee to Galilee.”

The Sphinx of Ancient India

Courtesy of YouTube

Jesus bowed his head in greeting, “Greetings great Purushamriga, for 40 days and 40 nights I have traveled the great desert. Please allow me to drink from your waters.”

The great beast licked at his paws and bowed his head to be lower than that of Jesus, “Great son of God, thou are most exalted. The water in this fountain will on sate the thirst of the truly divine. Those that are not will perish at the slightest sip.

“Great Purushamriga, I beseech thee, in the name of Lord God Almighty, to let this poor servant of the Lord slate his thirst.”

“Most Divine one, I would gladly let thou relieve thy stress once thou hast proven thou hast not been corrupted by the fiend most foul.”

Relief depicting a Purushamriga

Courtesy of Wikipedia

“Great Beast, I do enquire of thee, what fresh hell is this?”

The beast arose from his perch and walked around the front of the fountain standing in front of Jesus. “Thy God has requested that thy faith be proven and thy soul be found free of sin. The proof of this will be in the response to the riddles The Lord on High hath requested be asked.”

“Oh great purushamriga, if it please you, may we get on with it? My trial begins to feel like I am Sita forever striving to please Rama. Time doth tick by and my throat remains parched.”

The Purushamriga nods in affirmation. “As you wish, great shepherd of the people of Zion. As with Odysseus I shall begin: Who is the friend of the exile? Who is the friend of the householder? Who is the friend of him that ails? Who is the friend of one about to die?”

And thus Jesus smiled and stated “The friend of the exile in a distant land is his companion. The friend of the householder is the wife. The friend of him that ails is the physician: The friend of him about to die is charity.”

The great beast was pleased. “Though thy travels, thou hath built much knowledge. Thy question that is the number of two: What is the best of all laudable things? What is the most valuable of all his possessions? What is the best of all gains? What is the best of all kinds of happiness?

And thus Jesus was perplexed. He proclaimed to the beast that smelled of old cat litter: “Great being of the ancient world, thou art mistaken. Thy first riddle hath contained 4 questions, this thou hath just asked 4 additional questions making the total of thy questions 8.”

And thus the great sphinx ruffled his feathers in agitation. “Thou should not be an ass. Thou shouldth answer the questions God has commanded me to ask of thou.”

Jesus being exasperated by Sphinx

Courtesy of Pixabay

And lo Jesus retorted, “Of course, oh great one. I would just remind thou humbly that thy math is a little amiss. The answer thou doth search for is thus: The best of all laudable things is skill. The best of all possessions is knowledge. The best of all gains is health. Contentment is the best of all kinds of happiness.”

To which the great being clapped his paws together in delight. “Thy hath answered the riddles correctly.”

And lo Jesus approached the fountain of sparkling water. He licked his dry, cracked lips, eyes alight in the possibility of quenching a month long thirst. And thus our Lord Jesus reached his hand out to scoop the precious liquid to his mouth.

And Lo the beast did block his attempt. Jesus looked at the creature in disappointment. The great Sphinx shook his mammoth head slowly. “Thou still must answer one additional question.”

Jesus, perturbed by the hindrance did speak. “Thou try my patience, great beast. Perhaps you wish to be like the fishes and loaves, and be multiplied for the masses to feed on.”

The Sphinx doth look at his nails haughtily. “Violence breeds violence, oh preacher to his flocks.”

“Ask your question.”

“So we are doing away with the niceties are we?”

“I’m thirsty and done with your games. I want to drink so ask. “

“I do so like the old tongue though.”

And thus Jesus sighed heavily. “Please, oh great one, I beggeth thee to ask thy last question to which I can prove me purity like Sita jumping in the fire. “ And Jesus said underneath his breath, “Before I build a fire to put you on a spit roast.”

Sita proving purity through self immolation

Courtesy of Wikimedia

And thus the Sphinx rose up to his full height, his great tail swishing wildly. “Son of God, thou last question is thus: What is that which, if renounced, maketh one agreeable? What is that which, if renounced, leadeth to no regret? What is that which, if renounced, maketh one wealthy? And what is that which, if renounced, maketh one happy?

And Jesus wept with boredom and thirst. “Why doth thou torture me with stupid riddles? Thy answer is thus: Pride, if renounced, maketh one agreeable. Wrath, if renounced, leadeth to no regret. Desire, if renounced, maketh one wealthy. Avarice, if renounced, maketh one happy.”

And lo the purushamriga gestured deeply to Jesus. “One on high, thou may drink from this fountain!” The great beast moved to the side to allow Jesus by.

And lo, Jesus saw, a donkey drinking from the fountain. Jesus looked at the Sphinx incredulously. “And you let beast of burden drink but not the Son of God?

Horse at the drinking fountain

Courtesy of Wikimedia

And thus a smile formed on the purushamriga’s face. “Gotcha.” And the great beast flew off. Jesus attacked the fountain drinking next to the bewildered donkey.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  Okay so you probably all think I'm a heretic for this story but I really enjoyed writing it and think it is hilarious.  

First off this was inspired "Hundred Questions" in The Mahabharata written by R.K.Narayan.  This story is about the god of justice, Yama, testing his sonYudhistira's character to ensure he had reached a satisfactory level of divinty.  The way he did this was to appear as a Crane in the middle of a sapphire colored water pond that immediately made anyone unbearably thirsty.  The Crane told each of the brothers that they would die if they drank before answering some riddles.  All of them drank and died except for Yudhistira who answered all the riddles and due to his quality of character won his brothers back from death.

On first reading this I was struck how similar this story was to the Sphinx in the Odyssey. Right down to the riddle there were similarities in the stories.  Then I began to reach the Sphinx and found that they were also in Southern India and were one of the forms that Shiva chose and an incarnation in the world.  In fact they were found all over multiple ancient worlds.

This got me to thinking about the situation, the testing of faith.  Which of course led me to the temptation of Christ.  I looked through the King James version of the bible and decided to draw the parallells that are so prevalent in all mythology.  Thus with this story (as irreverent as it is) incorporates aspects of Greek mythology, Egyptian mythology, Christianity and Indian mythology.  

The riddles that were shown here are from the actual story The Mahabharata. They were found on the sacred text website. 

Narayan, R. K. "Hundred Questions" The Mahabharata. 2013
"Luke Chapter 4" The King James Bible.  1973
Sphinxes of India
Temptation of Christ